Because love should never hurt.
Teen dating violence is a serious issue that affects many young people across the UK. It refers to any form of controlling, abusive, or aggressive behaviour within a romantic or intimate relationship. This abuse can be physical, emotional, sexual, financial, or digital, and it affects both heterosexual and LGBTQIA+ young people.
Whether you’re just starting to date or are in a long-term relationship, you deserve to feel safe, respected, and valued—never scared, isolated, or harmed.
What Is Teen Dating Violence?
Teen dating violence can happen in person or online and often starts subtly before escalating. It includes:
- Physical violence: hitting, shoving, grabbing, or threatening harm
- Emotional abuse: insults, guilt-tripping, humiliation, intimidation
- Sexual abuse: being pressured or forced to engage in sexual activity
- Financial control: stealing money or controlling spending
- Digital abuse: sending abusive messages, stalking via social media, or demanding access to your phone or passwords
Technology like TikTok, Instagram, Snapchat, or WhatsApp can make abuse harder to spot but just as dangerous. It may look like constant messaging, checking your online activity, or controlling who you talk to.
“He’d check my location and say it was just love. But I felt scared to leave the house without telling him. That wasn’t love—that was control.”
— Ava, 16
Teen Dating Abuse: The Facts
- Around 1 in 3 teens report experiencing physical, emotional, or verbal abuse from a dating partner.
- 60% of teens tell a friend—but only 3% tell an adult or authority figure.
- Survivors of dating violence are at greater risk of mental health issues, eating disorders, binge drinking, and self-harm.
- Abuse can begin as early as secondary school, often disguised as jealousy or care.
Warning Signs of an Abusive Relationship
You may be in an unhealthy or abusive relationship if your partner:
- Gets angry when you speak to others
- Tries to control what you wear or where you go
- Checks your phone or social media without consent
- Pressures you into sex or other activities
- Blames you for their moods or mistakes
- Threatens to hurt you, themselves, or someone you care about
- Makes you feel guilty when you say “no” or try to set boundaries
If any of this sounds familiar, you are not alone—and it’s not your fault.
What Healthy Love Looks Like
A healthy relationship should feel like:
- Trust: You feel safe and respected
- Equality: Decisions are made together
- Consent: Your boundaries are always honoured
- Support: You lift each other up, not tear each other down
- Freedom: You keep your own friends, interests, and identity
How We Support Young People
At STN Women’s Lives Matter, we provide confidential, youth-friendly support for teens experiencing dating abuse. Our team can help you:
- Recognise signs of abuse
- Create a safety plan tailored to your needs
- Access emotional support or therapeutic counselling
- Report abuse to school safeguarding teams or police (if you choose to)
- Get help with online abuse or stalking
- Find inclusive support for LGBTQ+ relationships
In Immediate Danger?
- Call 999 if you’re at risk
- Text 999 if you can’t speak (register your phone in advance)
- Visit a local pharmacy or GP and ask for a “Safe Space”
- Speak to a trusted teacher, youth worker, or school nurse
You're Not Alone
You deserve to feel loved, safe, and respected—not controlled, threatened, or hurt.
“I thought I had to stay because no one would believe me. But someone did. And that changed everything.”
— Kai, 17
For Schools, Youth Workers & Parents
We also offer resources and training to help adults recognise and respond to teen dating violence:
- Workshops for secondary schools and youth groups
- Educational toolkits for teachers
- Guidance for parents on how to talk to teens about healthy relationships