Abuse in LGBT+ Relationships
Everyone deserves to feel safe in their relationships. Abuse is never acceptable—regardless of gender or sexuality.
Abuse doesn’t discriminate. While it’s often assumed that domestic abuse only happens in heterosexual relationships, many LGBT+ people experience emotional, physical, sexual, financial, or digital abuse from partners, ex-partners, family members, or even members of their community.
We’re here to let you know: you are not alone.
What Is LGBT+ Abuse?
LGBT+ abuse refers to any form of domestic or intimate partner abuse experienced by someone who identifies as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, or otherwise outside of the heterosexual/cisgender norm.
Abuse can include:
- Physical violence or threats
- Emotional manipulation or gaslighting
- Controlling behaviour—who you see, where you go, how you present yourself
- Sexual coercion or unwanted contact
- Outing you without your consent (to family, employers, or online)
- Using your identity against you (e.g. “No one will believe you because you’re trans”)
- Blocking access to gender-affirming care, medication, or services
- Homophobic, transphobic, or biphobic insults—even within the relationship
- Isolating you from LGBT+ community spaces or support networks
Abuse is about power and control. No matter what your identity is, no one has the right to control, belittle, or harm you.
Why It’s Often Hidden
Many LGBT+ survivors don’t seek help for fear they won’t be believed or supported. You might worry that:
- Services won’t understand your identity
- The abuse “isn’t serious enough”
- You’ll face homophobia, transphobia, or biphobia when you reach out
- Your community will reject you for “speaking out”
- You’ll be outed if you seek help
But your experiences matter—and you deserve support and safety.
“He told me no one would believe a man could be abused by another man. For years I stayed silent because I didn’t think I’d be taken seriously. Getting help saved my life.”
— Jay, survivor
Unique Forms of Abuse Faced by LGBT+ People
LGBT+ survivors may face additional or unique forms of abuse, including:
- Misgendering or deadnaming (using your former name or incorrect pronouns)
- Threats to report you to immigration or child services
- Undermining your identity (“You’re not really bisexual” or “You’re just confused”)
- Forcing you to hide your identity in public or with family
- Using transition status or sexuality to control or blackmail you
This abuse is real and valid. It is recognised by domestic abuse services and protected under UK law.
How We Support LGBT+ Survivors
We offer inclusive, confidential, non-judgemental support tailored to your needs. Our team understands the barriers LGBT+ people face when seeking help and is here to walk with you, not judge you.
We can support you with:
- Understanding your rights and identifying abuse
- Safety planning and risk assessment
- Emergency housing referrals, including LGBT+ safe spaces
- Trauma-informed counselling and mental health support
- Legal guidance and advocacy
- Peer support and LGBT+ affirming services
- Help if you’re being threatened with outing or public exposure
Supporting Someone LGBT+ Experiencing Abuse?
- Listen without judgement
- Respect their identity and pronouns
- Help them access support
- Don’t pressure them to leave—support their safety
- Be mindful of the risks of outing or isolation
Together, We Can Break the Silence
If you’re part of an organisation, school, or workplace, help us raise awareness of LGBT+ domestic abuse:
- Share this page
- Request training on LGBT+ inclusive safeguarding
- Display posters or leaflets
- Promote helplines and services on your platforms
You are valid. You are believed. You deserve to live without fear.