Grooming is manipulation—disguised as care, friendship, or love.
Grooming is when someone builds a relationship, trust, or emotional connection with a young person to manipulate, exploit, or abuse them. It can happen in person or online, and the abuser may be a stranger or someone the young person knows—even a family member, friend, teacher, or partner.
Grooming is not always easy to spot. It often starts with kindness, gifts, attention, or flattery—before turning into control, pressure, or abuse.
Any child or young person can be targeted, regardless of background, gender, or identity.
What Is Grooming?
Grooming is a deliberate process where the abuser:
- Targets a young person (often vulnerable or isolated)
- Builds trust by giving attention, gifts, compliments, or promises
- Creates secrecy or dependence (e.g. “don’t tell anyone”, “only I understand you”)
- Introduces abuse, including sexual, emotional, criminal, or financial exploitation
- Uses threats or shame to silence the young person and keep them trapped
Groomers often use social media, gaming platforms, chat apps, or school/community settings to access young people.
Forms of Grooming
Grooming can lead to different types of abuse:
- Sexual abuse or exploitation (CSE)
- Online abuse, including sending sexual images or livestreaming
- Criminal exploitation, such as gangs or “county lines” drug running
- Emotional manipulation, including love-bombing or blackmail
- Radicalisation or ideological grooming
- Trafficking or coercion into marriage
“He said he loved me. He gave me money, new clothes. Then he started asking for things back—and said if I didn’t, he’d tell everyone what we did.”
— Ella, age 15
How Grooming Affects Young People
Grooming can lead to:
- Fear, anxiety, or trauma
- Guilt, shame, or confusion
- Self-harm or suicidal thoughts
- Withdrawal from school, family, or friends
- Being coerced into criminal activity
- Long-term difficulties with trust, relationships, or mental health
Grooming is never the child’s fault. The responsibility lies 100% with the abuser.
Spotting the Signs
A young person who is being groomed may:
- Be secretive or withdrawn
- Receive gifts, money, or new items without explanation
- Spend excessive time online or be overly protective of their phone
- Be in contact with significantly older individuals
- Go missing, skip school, or stay out late
- Change their behaviour, appearance, or friendship groups
- Talk about a new “friend”, “mentor”, or “boyfriend/girlfriend” who seems too involved
Not all signs are obvious—but if something feels wrong, it probably is.
Grooming and the Law (UK)
Grooming is a criminal offence. This includes:
- Meeting a child with intent to commit abuse
- Sexual communication with a child
- Exploiting or coercing a child for sex, crime, or money
- Possessing or sharing indecent images of children
Children under 16 cannot legally consent to sex with an adult—and it is abuse, not a relationship.
We’re Here to Help
If you or someone you know is being groomed—or if you’re unsure—support is available.
We can help with:
- Safe disclosure and reporting
- Emotional and trauma-informed support
- Speaking to the police or safeguarding professionals
- Accessing counselling or legal advice
- Safety planning (including online)
- Supporting parents and carers to protect their children
For Parents & Carers
You don’t have to be perfect to protect your child. You can:
- Keep open, non-judgemental communication
- Monitor online activity (without shaming)
- Discuss healthy relationships and boundaries early
- Teach children to recognise grooming tactics
- Encourage them to speak up if something feels wrong
If you need support or advice, we’re here to listen and help you act safely.
For Schools, Youth Groups, and Professionals
We offer:
- Grooming and exploitation awareness training
- School workshops and youth sessions
- Resources for online safety and consent
- Professional safeguarding guidance
- Support with disclosures and referrals
Together, we can break the silence and protect young people.
Every Young Person Deserves Safety
Grooming thrives on secrecy and shame. By speaking out, seeking help, or simply checking in with someone, you can be part of the solution.
Abuse disguised as care is still abuse. If it feels wrong—it probably is.