Gaslighting
What Is Gaslighting?
Gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse that causes you to question your memories, judgment, or sense of reality. It’s confusing, manipulative—and incredibly harmful.
At STN Women’s Lives Matters, we understand how gaslighting can make you feel isolated, powerless, or even like you’re “going mad.” You’re not. And you’re not alone.
Gaslighting Explained
Gaslighting is when someone intentionally manipulates you into doubting your thoughts, feelings, or memory of events—often to gain control or avoid responsibility for abusive behaviour.
It’s named after the film Gaslight, where a husband manipulates his wife into thinking she’s losing her mind.
Gaslighting often occurs slowly and repeatedly, leaving you unsure of what’s real, who to trust—even whether to trust yourself.
Common Phrases in Gaslighting
Gaslighting often sounds like:
- “You’re imagining things.”
- “You’re too sensitive.”
- “That never happened.”
- “You’re overreacting—again.”
- “You always twist things.”
- “You’re crazy. No one else would put up with you.”
These aren’t just arguments. They’re systematic attempts to break down your self-belief.
“He’d do something awful—then deny it so convincingly I thought I was losing my grip. I started apologising just to end the argument.”
— Nadia, survivor
Signs You Might Be Experiencing Gaslighting
- You often feel confused, anxious, or like you’re “walking on eggshells”
- You second-guess yourself constantly
- You apologise frequently, even when you’re not sure why
- You feel like you’re never “good enough”
- You find it hard to trust your memory or judgment
- You feel isolated or dependent on the person gaslighting you
- Others tell you the behaviour isn’t normal—but you struggle to believe it
Gaslighting is often part of a larger pattern of coercive control or emotional abuse.
Why Gaslighting Is So Damaging
Gaslighting chips away at your ability to:
- Trust your own thoughts and emotions
- Identify unhealthy behaviour
- Seek support or leave an abusive relationship
- Feel confident or make decisions
Over time, it can lead to anxiety, depression, PTSD, and a loss of identity.
Is It Abuse?
Yes. Gaslighting is a form of emotional and psychological abuse. In the UK, it may be covered under the law as coercive or controlling behaviour, which is a criminal offence when used in intimate or familial relationships.
Abuse isn’t just physical. If someone is controlling, manipulating, or making you doubt yourself—that is abuse.
How We Can Support You
At STN Women’s Lives Matters, we provide compassionate, trauma-informed support to help you rebuild your sense of self.
We can help you:
- Identify gaslighting and other abuse tactics
- Reconnect with your voice and intuition
- Create a safety plan
- Access counselling and emotional support
- Navigate housing, benefits, or legal options
- Speak confidentially with trained advisors
- Access advocacy or interpreter services
You are not imagining it. And you don’t have to figure this out on your own.
Reclaim Your Reality
If someone is making you feel “crazy” or constantly second-guess yourself, it’s time to listen to your instincts.
Gaslighting is abuse. You deserve to feel safe, believed, and supported.
Contact us today. We’re here for you—always.