Emotional and Psychological Abuse

Abuse isn’t always physical. If someone is controlling, degrading, or manipulating you—it’s abuse.

Emotional and psychological abuse can be difficult to recognise because it often happens gradually, behind closed doors. But its effects are deep and long-lasting. This form of abuse is about power, fear, and control—and it can be just as damaging as physical violence.

At STN Women’s Lives Matter, we support survivors of all forms of abuse, including those whose wounds are invisible. You are not alone, and help is available.

What Is Emotional and Psychological Abuse?

Emotional abuse involves any behaviour meant to hurt, control, frighten, or isolate someone using words, threats, or manipulation—not just physical force. It is often part of coercive control, which is a criminal offence under UK law.

This abuse may include:

Constant criticism, name-calling, or put-downs
Yelling, screaming, or aggressive tone of voice
Humiliating you in private or public
Isolating you from friends, family, or support
Controlling what you wear, say, or do
Damaging belongings, throwing things, or punching walls
Blaming you for their behaviour or mood
Threatening to harm you, your loved ones, pets, or themselves
Using guilt, shame, or emotional pressure to control you
Making you feel afraid, confused, or like you’re “walking on eggshells”
Threatening to take your children away or have them removed
Making you feel immature or guilty if you say no to sex

This kind of abuse doesn’t leave bruises—but it slowly destroys self-esteem, confidence, and mental wellbeing.

“He never hit me, so I thought maybe it wasn’t abuse. But every day I was terrified to say the wrong thing. I stopped seeing friends, stopped talking. Eventually I stopped being myself.”
— Fatima, survivor

The Impact of Emotional Abuse

Emotional and psychological abuse affects every part of a person’s life. Survivors often experience:

Anxiety, depression, or panic attacks
Low self-worth and shame
Isolation from loved ones
Difficulty trusting others or making decisions
Confusion or self-doubt (especially after gaslighting)
Trauma, PTSD, or thoughts of self-harm

You do not need to wait until the abuse becomes physical. Emotional abuse is a valid reason to seek support.

Signs You May Be Experiencing Emotional Abuse

You might be in an emotionally abusive relationship if:

You feel afraid to speak freely or disagree
You’re constantly blamed for things that aren’t your fault
You avoid certain topics to prevent arguments
You feel controlled, isolated, or emotionally dependent
You’ve stopped seeing friends or pursuing your interests
You feel like you’re “losing yourself” in the relationship

If this sounds familiar, know that your feelings are valid—and you deserve support.

If You Are in Immediate Danger

If you or someone else is in immediate danger, call 999. You can also:

Text 999 if you’re unable to speak (register your phone first)
Visit a Safe Space in selected pharmacies and hospitals
Speak to your GP, midwife, or another trusted professional

How We Can Help

We offer confidential, non-judgemental support for those experiencing emotional or psychological abuse, whether you are still in the relationship or have already left. Our services include:

One-to-one emotional support and safety planning
Help accessing refuge and emergency accommodation
Legal advice and protection orders
Access to counselling and trauma-informed therapy
Peer support groups to rebuild confidence and connection

We’ll walk alongside you—at your pace.

You Are Not to Blame

Support Someone You’re Worried About

If you think a friend or loved one is experiencing emotional abuse:

Believe them
Listen without judgement
Don’t minimise or pressure them to leave
Help them connect with professional support
Be patient—leaving can be complicated