When choice is taken away, it’s not culture—it’s control.
Polygamy refers to being married to more than one person at the same time. In some cultures or religions, polygamy is practised with mutual consent and respect. However, polygamy becomes abusive when it is imposed, forced, or used to control, isolate, or harm someone—most often women.
In the UK, polygamous marriage is illegal if contracted while living in the UK, and being forced into or manipulated into such relationships may be a form of coercive control, psychological abuse, or even forced marriage.
You have the right to safety, dignity, and freedom in your relationships.
When Polygamy Becomes Abuse
Polygamy is abusive when:
- You are pressured, coerced, or forced to accept your partner marrying another person
- You are not allowed to object, speak out, or leave the relationship
- You are blamed, shamed, or silenced for expressing pain, discomfort, or distress
- You experience emotional or financial neglect once a new wife or partner is introduced
- You are made to feel worthless, less than, or “replaceable”
- Your mental or physical health suffers as a result of isolation, neglect, or comparison
“He told me I wasn’t enough of a woman, and that’s why he needed to marry again. I felt invisible in my own home.”
— Fatima, survivor of coercive polygamy
Abuse Linked to Coerced Polygamy
In relationships where polygamy is used abusively, survivors may experience:
- Emotional abuse – being manipulated, gaslit, shamed, or blamed
- Psychological abuse – threats, intimidation, or being told you’ll be rejected by family or community if you object
- Financial abuse – resources being split unfairly, leaving the first wife or children in poverty
- Sexual abuse – feeling forced to be intimate out of fear that your partner will “replace” or punish you
- Spiritual abuse – having religious teachings twisted to justify control or silence dissent
- Isolation – being removed from support networks or not allowed to speak openly about your feelings
- Forced marriage – in some cases, a woman may be married into a polygamous household without full knowledge or consent
What the Law Says (UK)
- Polygamous marriages are not legally recognised in the UK if contracted here.
- It is a criminal offence to knowingly enter into a second marriage while still married under UK law.
- Coercive control (a criminal offence under the Domestic Abuse Act 2021) includes forcing or manipulating someone into accepting a polygamous relationship.
- Forced marriage laws apply if you were pressured into a polygamous relationship or prevented from leaving one.
Why Survivors Stay Silent
Survivors of abusive polygamy may not speak up due to:
- Fear of family rejection or “bringing shame”
- Cultural or religious pressure to stay silent or submit
- Worry about losing access to children or housing
- Immigration threats or control through dependent visa status
- Lack of knowledge about legal rights and available support
“Everyone told me to accept it—that it was my duty. But no one asked how I felt.”
— Survivor’s voice
We’re Here to Help
You are not alone. If you are being hurt, neglected, or coerced in a polygamous relationship, this is not your fault—and you do have options.
We can support you with:
- Safety planning and emotional support
- Culturally sensitive counselling and advocacy
- Housing, benefits, and legal advice
- Immigration and visa support, including if you’re on a spousal visa
- Referral to women-led and faith-sensitive support groups
- Help with parenting, protection, and child contact
For Community & Faith Leaders
We work alongside community organisations, imams, ministers, and women’s groups to:
- Increase awareness of harmful polygamy practices
- Promote women’s rights within faith and cultural contexts
- Deliver training and safe spaces for dialogue
- Support survivors without judgement or fear
You Deserve Respect and Choice
Polygamy should never be used as a weapon of control or punishment. If it has been forced upon you or is causing you harm, you have the right to speak out and be supported.
You are not selfish. You are not weak. You are worthy of a life free from harm.